Monday, May 17, 2010

A page from Gina's life - before it came apart.

Waiting to be someone else.

There were nine women working in the office I was about to join as the newest employee; nine ordinary, everyday women. All, that is, except for one. There's always one. She was a little younger than I, a little blonder, a little thinner and I became obsessed with her.

She was very friendly, thank God, because I wanted to learn everything I could from her. For instance, how did she get so smart? How does she stay so slim? She's mentioned her hair colorist but how is it that her hair color looks so natural? I was sure it was. Her look appeared effortless and I couldn't wait to become her, as if the me I was wasn't good enough.

This situation forced me to be at my very best, every day. I scoured the beauty and fashion magazines, bought new clothes and shoes and even began to eat the foods she ate. But I never quite measured up. Each day she would come in looking even more fabulous than she had the day before. I wanted to be her. I needed to be her. I would be her.

And then I met David.

Suddenly, all was right with the world and I didn't need to be anyone but me. I will always strive to better myself and reach for my dreams, and I'm so happy that while I was waiting to become someone else, I learned the me I am is a-okay.

~ Gina

Tuesday, May 4, 2010 say you have no friends?

I've not had many. There were times it made me sad, times I didn't care and finally, the time I realized I would never have two better friends than my daughter Lisa and my sister, Shirley.

Lisa and I have always been a close mother/daughter - but it wasn't until I began running, after years of smoking cigarettes and fighting the battle-of-the-bulge - that we became close women. When I thought I was all alone at my first 5K race, there she was, smiling and rooting for me. She had a lump in her throat as I crossed the finish line and thought to herself, Hey, that's MY mom. I should be out there with her. She began running then, and we ran many road races together after that. I no longer run, but she's runs marathons with her husband, Scott. Together they are unstoppable! She has always been there for me, no matter what, even when others may have written me off, she was there with her unwavering love and great big smile. My Lisa.

My sister Shirley is quirky, funny, and very special to me. She lives in Mystic, CT but that doesn't stop us from getting together whenever we feel like it. What's a two-hour drive? If one of us is in a funk, the other makes the trip. We shop, eat, and spend hours in the book store. We tell each other everything and know it won't be repeated. What friend can keep a secret, huh? She has such a flair for decorating, you just want to curl up in her little house and never leave. In fact, I feel like going there, right now!

Oh yeah, they are my two best friends in the world. Who could ask for more?

'till next time,

~ Dianne