Monday, May 17, 2010
A page from Gina's life - before it came apart.
Waiting to be someone else.
There were nine women working in the office I was about to join as the newest employee; nine ordinary, everyday women. All, that is, except for one. There's always one. She was a little younger than I, a little blonder, a little thinner and I became obsessed with her.
She was very friendly, thank God, because I wanted to learn everything I could from her. For instance, how did she get so smart? How does she stay so slim? She's mentioned her hair colorist but how is it that her hair color looks so natural? I was sure it was. Her look appeared effortless and I couldn't wait to become her, as if the me I was wasn't good enough.
This situation forced me to be at my very best, every day. I scoured the beauty and fashion magazines, bought new clothes and shoes and even began to eat the foods she ate. But I never quite measured up. Each day she would come in looking even more fabulous than she had the day before. I wanted to be her. I needed to be her. I would be her.
And then I met David.
Suddenly, all was right with the world and I didn't need to be anyone but me. I will always strive to better myself and reach for my dreams, and I'm so happy that while I was waiting to become someone else, I learned the me I am is a-okay.